'Anything But Sorry': What to say when a baby is born with Down syndrome

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Title : 'Anything But Sorry': What to say when a baby is born with Down syndrome
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'Anything But Sorry': What to say when a baby is born with Down syndrome

For Ed and Mary Casagrande, the birth of their middle child, Emma, was a moment of celebration. The Casagrandes were told when Mary was five months pregnant that their baby had Down syndrome.

Now, four years later, Emma continues to be a bright light in their family. 

"She brings joy to her family every day. She lights up a room wherever she goes. She is a blessing," said Ed Casagrande, a Toronto resident and member of the board of directors of the Canadian Down Syndrome Society. "There's nothing to be sorry for."

On Friday, the society launched a new campaign, entitled "Anything But Sorry: The 'S' Word," that includes a YouTube video, a website with information on how to welcome a baby born with Down syndrome into the world, Facebook announcements that can be filled out by parents and congratulatory greeting cards that can be ordered.

Warning: Graphic Language

Casagrande acknowledges that the video includes swear words but says it is trying to make the point that the birth of a baby with Down syndrome is a happy occasion, not a sorrowful one, and it's time Canadians changed their perception of such events.

"We chose some colourful language on purpose," he said. "You can say anything you want to a someone with a baby born with Down syndrome but the only word you shouldn't say is, 'Sorry.'"

Kirk Crowther, the society's national executive director, based in Calgary, told CBC Toronto that the video is part of Canadian Down Syndrome Society week. Two other videos will be rolled out this week that feature parents of babies with Down syndrome.

"We are hearing in the office from parents and they say they are not hearing congratulations. We are really trying to educate the public. It's a new child. It's a birth. It's a celebration. It's not the loss of a child at all," he said.

"We are trying to change the perceptions of Canadians."

'You just had a baby!'

Crowther said the outlook for people with Down syndrome has changed greatly in the last 20 years.

"People with Down syndrome have such a positive future now. There are options for post-secondary education, marriage and employment."

In the YouTube video, there is a warning about inappropriate language and then the first frame asks: "What do you say to parents who just had a child with Down syndrome?"

A series of actors, all with Down syndrome, answer the question. "You can say almost anything," says one. "Like, holy sh-t," says another. "You just had a baby!" says a third. "Sh-t, yeah," says a fourth.

"Congratu-f--kinglations!" says the first actor. A few other suggestions are made.

'The only bad word is sorry'

"The truth is, the only bad word is sorry," says one of the actors. Then all of the actors say, "Sorry" in low voices. 

"You're supposed to be celebrating," says one. "Woohoo," says another. "So, don't be sorry about a baby," says one more. "Be happy," suggests another.

"Because every baby deserves a warm f--king welcome," says yet another.

Crowther says the society is taking a risk by using language that could be called vulgar, but he says an edge is needed to the campaign to make a point. And so far, it's being well received.

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